Judgment or Situational Awareness?

Written By: Michele Borowske

I brought up the subject of people trying to be a better person by not judging others the other day while with a friend. I had part of the answer but after viewing different perspectives from others I think I may have a kinder method to achieve this. Something that doesn’t have the high standards of “Martha Stewart” or the moral tightrope walking of organized religion. Something I think I could achieve and not beat myself up because I failed. This is my superpower.

The solution comes in two parts: biology and brain. We have the reptilian part of our brain that is concerned with eating, sleeping, and safety. We are continually in survival mode whether we consciously are aware of it or not. If you watch your cat or dog enter a room, they scan the room for threats or danger. Then proceed farther in if it’s safe. We do the same. Whether at home in abusive or narcissistic situations, checking for prowlers, or even a probable fire. In the outside world, we constantly check out the people around us. Do they look sketchy? That guy is wearing a jean jacket just like Dad. I liked Dad. She’s talking to herself. Is she off her meds or does she have an earpiece?

We also overlay our own personal biases and life experiences. We are constantly adjusting our awareness of people and trusting our gut instincts. And with all this said we come to the realization we are not judging. We are assessing. Are we with them? Could I ask for directions or help? And so on. So remember you are assessing not judging. Everyone breathe. The universe isn’t judging either.

And now for the brain. We have been programmed since birth to judge according to our beliefs and standards set by family, religion, education, society, and so on. It becomes automatic. Here’s one way to get out of that rabbit hole of thinking. Just look at them and ask questions. What got them to this point? What is their backstory? How bad is their pain? Do they have a light at the end of their tunnel? Is there anything I can do? When you ask the questions this puts you in the space of philosophy and spirituality. It starts to push out judgment.

Now take this one step further. What are these people mirroring back to you? What are they showing me that I might not want to face about myself? Where do I go from here? Am I the person I want to see in the mirror every morning? Am I too complacent with where I am in life and how I interact with others? Do I even like myself and can forgive myself? My favorite saying is “There but for the grace of God go I.”.

And believe me when I say God has pulled my butt out of many situations. And hard lessons were learned. But that’s the whole reason for being here in this dimension. We’re here to fall on our faces and get up again. We learn to walk through trial and error. And go through a lot of band-aids. No one is perfect. So breathe and have a piece of chocolate.